If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
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i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
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I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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