I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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