you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
