just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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