My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
