Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
