She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont lie about slip and slides
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize