im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize