I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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