Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
