Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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