so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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