i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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