It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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