she was so not down for the gang bang
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
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