I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
