this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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