and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
