Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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