therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was CRYING into my vagina
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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