no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
