Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
