I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
