Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
