remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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