I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
