I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
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