I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I AM VODKA MAN
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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