Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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