My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
