uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
