i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
