dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
