it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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