if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize