I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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