youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
