I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
