Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
