After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
