so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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