I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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