Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
