He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
