He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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