I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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