Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
