Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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