He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
