I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
