just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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