im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So vagazzling was a success
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