You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
