The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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