that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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