I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
