So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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