So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
