Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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