I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
