It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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