So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
How did I end up in the pool?!
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He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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