I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
